Time Stopped, But Just For Me

If someone had suggested to me a month ago that I could take a few weeks off, without planning it, just disappear one day and not return for several weeks, I would have laughed in their face. Are you kidding? Spontaneously walk away from my work, from my business, from my clients and committments, for almost a month? Insane! I have so much to do, so much to juggle, so many people counting on me, there’s no way I could possibly shut it all down on a moment’s notice.

Then my father died.

And that’s exactly what I did.

I didn’t think about it, at all, of course. My dad was sick, and then he died, and then arrangements needed to be made, and there were things to do, and people to tell, and an obituary to write, and a funeral to be planned. There were pictures to go through, and clothes to be packed away, and memories to be remembered.

It never once occurred to me that the world did not in fact stop spinning. That work continued, without me. That time passed, without my notice.

But it did. And once again, I’m struck with enormous gratitude that I’m a solopreneur. That I wasn’t constrained by the limited number of bereavement days a corporation determined was appropriate for my grief.

And how immensely thankful I am that I was able to take the time I needed to take, without severe professional consequences. That I had a safety net that I could rely on when I needed it most. That no matter how busy I am, I can pause, prioritize, and re-set.

Life goes on, it always will. But how comforting to know that I can occasionally stop time, when I need to.

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